Going backward

Depiction of a demon performing an abortion, a bas relief in Angkor Wat from Wikipedia

Yesterday while waiting for my husband, a man suddenly appeared in front of me and handed over a leaflet. Knowing what it was all about as I was facing a women’s clinic in the First District where abortion can be performed, I simply took it and said my thanks.

A security guard is now taking watch the clinic after aggressive pro-lifers intimidated patients, mostly women, who just wanted to exercise their rights. Every day someone from a pro-life group takes a refuge in front of the institute, wearing a placard that shows a picture of an unborn child and a happy portrayal of mother and child, while either a man or woman simple walks around assigned to distributing the leaflets and brochures for the bystanders and prospective clients.

Unlike the pro-lifers in the United States, their Viennese counterpart doesn’t resort to violence. They protest and walk too closely toward the patients by convincing them to change their minds but they don’t have guns nor sticks to hurt the doctors and the patients.

Austria, with its liberal laws, is still a Catholic country despite losing many of its followers. Somehow it tends to be conservative and far-right politicians try to pit Christian natives against the Muslim immigrants. Still, individual freedoms are regarded as the basic rules of living prosperously. Thanks to its socialist forefathers. It also has its faults mainly due to the changing political atmosphere in the whole Europe and the recent financial crisis. Nevertheless, I applaud Austria for its liberal views on religion and for upholding the women’s rights. Sure, the society still has a lot to do when it comes to differentiating between the two genders’ salary where women received lower wages against her male counterpart in the same position. Sure, there are a few female managers. Still, it doesn’t care if a woman wants to have an abortion.

This is pretty hard for a country like Spain or Ireland where the Roman Catholic Church still has a stronghold, its claws sit perfectly well on its followers. Just imagine my surprise hearing the one million or so people who joined the anti-abortion protest yesterday. Get this, Spain has been allowing abortion since 1985. Prime Minister Zapatero and his government only wanted that a woman should freely choose if she wants to terminate the fetus without any reason. The religious Spaniards took an offense. On the other hand, Ireland specifically ordered the European Union prior to the Lisbon Treaty referendum a couple of weeks ago that the union doesn’t have any say with its anti-abortion laws.

As for the Philippines, with a huge number of unsafe abortion cases and dubious abortifacients, it denies women of this right. Religion rules the country. Just like in yesterday’s rally in Spain, the religious leaders in the Philippines have a say when it comes to family planning. And the people listen. It sounds so hypocritical; but there are cases where women leave their babies in front of the churches. The population is exploding. A bill that has been recently created promises that the poor can avail of the contraceptives free of charge while the church vehemently disagrees. Strange thing, the women are doing this to themselves, clouded with their own set of morals and religiosity.

Abortion is not a nice experience. But I’d rather live in a country where it is an option to take. And I, as a woman, can choose which direction I want to go. I despise the dictates of other people as I believe I have my own free will to decide everything for myself.

The one million of people (and others around the world) who marched yesterday in Spain definitely didn’t want that.

 

It takes two to tango

For husbands and wives who are on the verge of getting separated, why not try tango therapy instead of undergoing a painful and expensive divorce through a lawyer and countless other agencies?

Tango, or vertical sex as dubbed by some, was discovered in Argentina. Born in the seedy streets of red light district in Buenos Aires where prostitutes said to have developed it, tango was reportedly banned by Vatican due to its high sexually charged movements. During its early days women were not even allowed to dance it.

Today therapists recommend its “healing” prowess for troubled pairs. So before you say adieu, why don’t you dance your anger and insecurities away and start connecting with your partner through tango.

Such findings have inspired the creation of the International Association of Tango Therapy, whose British representative, Martin Soletano, works with couples in trouble. “Most of the problems that partners have in relationships can be seen in their tango dancing,” he says. “For example, the man has to lead, as he is the one who can see where they are going when they’re moving forwards. The woman is going backwards; she can’t see, so she needs to trust her man. No man can push a woman into making steps she doesn’t want to make, or to move in a certain direction. He has to persuade her, to make her happy. If she can trust, she will follow. If you’re a couple who can’t trust each other, it’s going to get complicated.”

Soletano, an Argentinian who lives in Cardiff with his wife Karen, a therapist, adds: “The therapy looks like tango, but it is not like a normal tango lesson because the focus is different — it starts with exercises that are aimed at finding a better connection between the couples. Tango needs a very good connection. One of the things you need is confidence — in yourself, your dancing and your partner. The partner needs to help you to dance or it won’t work. So there’s a deeper meaning to the old saying ‘It takes two to tango’.” Source

Scenes from “A Scent of a Woman” with Al Pacino and the very young Gabrielle Anwar

 

Noypis=Pinoys, Pinays

Filipino ako, Filipino ka rin ba? (I am a Filipino, are you a Filipino, too?)

Patriotism is not my cup of tea. Though I am not like the others telling everybody about my nationality, I treasure the fact that I was born, lived and worked in the Philippines for 26 years. I am contemplating to change my citizenship out of practicality, and I am still a Filipino.

I don’t harbour affection with the Arroyo government. I find her policies too way unrealistic. And then there’s the society. With its backward laws, religiosity and morality, and hypocritical stance on human rights and freedom, I cannot help shaking my head. Where else but in the Philippines you can find a primitive law that permits a school to fire its unmarried female faculty member when she got pregnant? Every time I see the widening gap between the poor and the rich in my country I feel so much exhaustion and anger as my family is one of the masses.

But who knows what’s going to happen in the future? Austria and the rest of Europe are tightening the laws against the outsiders, stricter the better, the border fences much higher. Yes, there is racism. And yes, the service crew doesn’t always smile at you. But which country is not racist, by the way? Which country doesn’t take advantage of its immigrants? The mood in Vienna is not always friendly but livable.

My sojourn started after I met my Austrian husband. I took his love and never turned back. Now, we have a little family. Years ago when I didn’t have any qualms retaining my green passport, the everyday happenings and the pressure deeply convince me to change my nationality as soon as possible. I won’t deny that I appreciate living here, finding the amenities a huge improvement.

Sure, sometime homesickness takes over me, my dissatisfaction at work, and lack of recognition. Overall, I cannot really complain. Vienna is almost paradise for those who believe. There’s the functioning social welfare system, the nice infrastructure, the cultural offerings, and many other things. Of course, nothing is for free. The social insurance is pre-paid (monthly contribution is deducted along with the taxes). But if you see the fruits of your labour, then you cannot ask for more.

Having a contact with family and friends, reading the news, and the internet, Philippines seems to be not far away.

According to the Philippine embassy a couple of years ago, there are no illegal Filipino immigrants detained in Austria. Of course, they exist. And like the others they are left undocumented and out of the system. Somehow it has become a myth due to tales someone heard from someone’s friend. A Filipina I met told me of a cousin’s friend, an illegal, who used to borrow her sister’s E-card, a multi-purpose card that includes one’s access to health system.

One time she almost forgot “who” she was when the secretary called “her” assumed name. The doctor’s visit went well and no one suspected that she was not the person on the card. However, the Filipina felt exhausted with this cat and mouse chase and wished that her stay could be legalised soon. Once caught the person is persona non grata in Austria for more than a decade. There are talks that the green-coloured health cards should be furnished with ID pictures because of massive fraudulent use. The Krankenkasse in Vienna suffered a great deal in the last two years.

A couple of weeks ago, news article from Falter discussed the Mafia-like landlord operating in one of the dilapidated buildings in the fourth district, a supposed plush business district. Many of the tenants are Filipinos working in McDonald’s or dishwashers. They are virtually prisoners who are locked inside their apartments. They are very afraid not even willing to talk to the journalist. The last thing I’ve heard their case has been taken cared of the Rathaus. So you see, Filipinos in the Philippines seldom hear that. Or if they do, they don’t care.

Everything’s greener, better, nicer outside of the Philippines. Sure there are success stories out there, still there’s a huge chunk of bad luck among overseas Filipino workers/Filipino migrants abroad. The abused domestic helpers in Middle East, the murdered Filipino diplomat who helped freed the trafficked Filipinas in Malaysia, they and many others shoulder the burden of being born in a country where rights and privileges are only shared by a few people. Philippines, quo vadis?

 

Half-naked models and 24-hour public transpo

Intercourse

Sex sells. At least, that’s what the young members of the Conservative Party of Austria are thinking.

In order to point out why a 24-hour public transportation service is needed, especially on weekends, they used a half-naked female model and put sayings that have double meaning to create attention.

And attention they got. Albeit, for a brief  moment. Viennese councilor Sandra Frauenberger together with another politician from the Green Party  cried foul of the sexist slogans and posters initiated by the God-fearing ÖVP.

One of their slogans says “24-Stunden Verkehr am Wochenende” that shows two figures, a man and a woman getting intimate with each other sends another signal. (The word “Verkehr” means intercourse in English.) Another poster shows a half-naked woman while her male counterpart wears a shirt.

The conservative party spent six million euros to finance this project. I don’t know what is the deal of making the public transportation 24 hours when most of the establishments are close by the time it is midnight.

The leader of the junior ÖVP cannot understand the furor. He says, “The concept is modern.” Yeah, right.

 

That weight thing

The body is the temple

For the last few days I am bothered with my weight. I shouldn’t have but people, especially women, start to recognise my tummy insinuating if I am with a child again. These are the mothers of my wards, who last year or a couple of years ago, were once pregnant and huge and are now super thin. Unfortunately, women are way too much pressured to slim down after they delivered their babies. A finding from Germany’s Institute for Quality and Efficiency in Health Care stated that this is even dangerous.

They mistook my tadpole appearance, the not-so proportioned arms and legs, and a slight bulge on the middle, as a sign of pregnancy. It is the baby flabs that I am trying to eliminate since 2005, when I gave birth to my son. Though I cannot entirely blame them, I cannot simply ignore the fact that they live in a surrounding where physical appearance weighs more weight than feeling good or accepting what they really are.

It didn’t bother me and I never paid attention to it. As long as I felt good by trying not to overdo sweets, run as often as possible, then everything would be all right. Besides, my BMI said I still fall on the normal level.

Not really. I am pestered with questions–from innocent to malicious–almost all the time. And I don’t understand their problem. I never saw it as a problem till the day they posed that it was.

The urge to look thin or be thin is very strong in summer. Everyone tries hard to achieve that bikini figure to show off her body.

It didn’t occur to me that in Europe, both men and women, it is a part of the everyday life. Why the hell do fitness centres boom and promoting a so-called healthy living is becoming the No. 1 priority of the Europeans? Sure. smoking is bad for your health. Eating too much fats, too. Even a couch potato lifestyle. But for many maintaining a thin figure is a mantra. It has become a huge business in the 21st century!

Though I didn’t feel bad when the pharmacist asked me if the headache tablets were for me as “they would be bad if I am pregnant,” the reaction of another client smirking when I said “no” was insulting.

When mothers and several female colleagues asked me if I am expecting, I thought thanks for asking but no there is no daughter nor son coming. They thought I was lying. Truth is, I wouldn’t mind telling everybody if I were. I asked myself if it was my choice of clothes. I do wear clothing that matches my built.

It is not at all perplexing how does one let the other feel or look bad. Look at the magazines, the films, the advertisements. It is so… the society wants us to feel this way. And somehow one must learn how to ignore it.